


A serious goddam dildo

by bloodandcream



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Alternate Universe, Dildos, M/M, Nipple Clamps, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-15 03:06:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2213445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodandcream/pseuds/bloodandcream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel was a lot of things. He was complicated. But this situation right here, getting dragged through the man’s apartment and firmly deposited onto his bed, that did not have to be complicated. In fact it could be gloriously simply. Dick meet ass, a little bump and grind, thanks for the good time buddy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A serious goddam dildo

Dean was distracted and frustrated when he came home to his apartment complex, parking his baby in the carport and wrenching the doors to the common entrance open. It had been a long day at the office and his arms were piled with folders of data to review at home, a few bags of groceries weighing him down too. All he wanted was a beer and a little Dr. Sexy.

Unlocking his tiny mailbox, Dean noticed a package on the floor underneath the rows of little boxes and immediately perked up. He had ordered an immersion blender from amazon a few weeks ago, late at night, secretively. Dean was maybe - definitely - getting into cooking and baking as a hobby, but wasn’t too eager to be seen in the stores picking over kitchen appliances.

Ordering new gadgets was kind of a guilty pleasure. The box was about the size of his forearm and had the amazon logo on it, so Dean piled it into his arms with the rest of his supplies and blindly made his way upstairs. Dumping everything on the kitchen island when he got in, Dean grabbed a pair of scissors and opened his box.

It wasn’t an immersion blender.

It was a dildo.

A massive, pink, sparkly dildo.

Shit.

Dean panicked for a moment wondering if he’d accidentally gone on a sex toy shopping spree drunk one night - he had the butt plugs to prove that happened once (and he still used them). But upon further inspection of the box - which he should have given to the box before he snagged it but hey he was excited and had his arms full - Dean realized it was addressed to one Castiel Novak in apartment 3D.

Castiel Novak, permanent grump, mr ‘I think a grunt is an appropriate greeting’, he of the trench coat in all weather. Castiel Novak, also hot ass neighbor, mr ‘do I ever comb my hair, you’ll never know’, he of the d.s.l.’s.

Dammit.

Dean grabbed a beer, scrubbed his hand over his face, and maybe thought about all the things that dildo was going to be put to use for then went and jacked off in the bathroom. Then, after all that, he closed the lids of the box and went over to Cas’ apartment. He stood outside the door for a good few minutes, wondering what exactly was the best way to say ‘hey sorry I accidentally opened your mail and found your dildo’. Yeah, there wasn’t a good way to say that.

Dean had changed after his impromptu jerk off session, standing in his socks with loose sweat pants and a tatty old Zeppelin tee, clutching the box under his arm. Rallying his courage - and Dean damn well had plenty of courage thank you - he knocked on the door.

Cas squinted at him when the door was opened. Dude looked way too good in slacks and a button down, it really wasn’t fair.

"Hey, I uh, may have accidentally opened your mail."

Dean shoved the box out in front of him. Castiel still stood in the door way, not offering to let him in or shoo him away. The guy just opened up his box, taking the dildo out and turning it around like he was inspecting it for any malicious intent, seeming completely unconcerned that anyone walking down the hallway would see him inspecting a sparkly dildo while Dean was slowly turning red.

"You are aware that opening someone’s mail is a federal offense?"

"I’m sorry, it was an accident, it looked like a package I was expecting and I was maybe a little over eager."

"And what package were you expecting?"

Castiel raised one eyebrow and gave Dean this intense stare that was doing things to him. Dean wanted to say ‘none of your damn business’, but, he had just inadvertently found the man’s mail order sex toys, so there’s that.

"Uh, an immersion blender."

Cas tilted his head to the side, squinting harder.

"It’s, for cooking, you know like for pureeing stuff."

"You cook?"

"Yeah."

"Hm."

“What?”

Cas straightened and shrugged one shoulder.

"Nothing. Thank you for bringing my mail over."

“Sorry for the mix up.”

The last half of Dean’s sentence was cut off by a door in his face.

If he decided to watch porn instead of Dr.Sexy and have another wank session later that night with one of the drunk order butt plugs he had, thinking about blue eyes and five o’clock shadow and a gravely voice, well that was his prerogative.

-

Several days later, Dean’s immersion blender still hadn’t come in the mail. He tried not to think that Cas might be sabotaging him or something. What kind of person would do that on purpose? Sure, sometimes he looked downright dangerous and he was one stealthy quiet motherfucker, and Dean knew so little about him he could totally be a Russian spy or something, but come on, Dean just had an overactive imagination.

Much to his surprise, someone was knocking on his door Saturday evening, three curt taps ringing out loud. Dean was in the middle of rolling out some dough for a home made pie, plain white apron tied around his waist and flour in his hair. Rinsing his hands quickly at the sink, he jogged to the front door and opened to find Castiel standing there, an opened box tucked under his arm, eyes flicking up and down Dean.

"So you do cook."

“Baking.”

“Hm?”

"Oh, I uh, I’m not cooking right now, I’m baking - a pie, it’s, they’re different.’

"Ah."

Dean wiped his hands down the front of his apron, licked his lips trying to think of what he was supposed to say. For some goddam infuriating reason, he was a smooth operator any time it came to picking up any kind of chick anywhere, any time. But when it came to dudes, it was like he was a compass standing near a magnet, dick just spinning round not sure where to land.

"So, what’s in the box Cas?"

"You’re package came. I may have accidentally opened it."

Dean knew it wasn’t an accident. And he knew that Cas knew that he knew.

Passing the box over, lid flaps carefully folded and tucked over each other, Cas let his arm linger in the space between them a few seconds after Dean took the box. He could swear the fucker was smiling. Kind of. In a weird subtle Cas sort of way.

"Thanks."

Then Cas turned on his heels and flounced back to his apartment. Fucking flounced. He had to be swaying that ass like that on purpose, Dean though as he leaned around his door frame and watched it go. The little old lady across the hall from his was standing in her open door giving a tsk of disapproval and Dean immediately retreated back into his apartment.

-

This box was actually addressed to him. Dean Winchester, 3C. And he felt slightly better that it was damn near about the exact size of Cas’ box. He had told Cas what he ordered, why the guy had to go and open it was beyond Dean, but hey, minor invasion of privacy for minor invasion of privacy. Now they were even. Whatever.

Then Dean opened the box.

It was the goddam sparkly pink dildo, taken out of it’s packaging, flopping around with a silicone jiggle in Dean’s hand when he lifted it out of the box.

Motherfucker was playing games with him.

Dean wondered if Cas had already used the toy. He wondered if Cas used it on himself, or on someone else. He wondered how much of it Cas could take, cause this thing was big, almost the length of his forearm and Dean couldn’t close his thumb and forefinger around the width of it.

Despite it’s sparkliness, this was a serious goddam dildo.

If Cas wanted to play games, Dean could play games.

He washed the dildo several times, let it sterilize in boiled water, and put a condom on it. Dean would have to work up to that, he could probably fit most of it in, but still. Setting up a few toys on the kitchen counter, Dean spread himself out on the island top. See, it had to be in the kitchen, because the kitchen was the one room that shared a wall with Cas’ apartment.

Dean was going to be as loud as he damn well pleased.

-

On Sunday he took the box back.

It did not however have the pink dildo in it. It did have one of Dean’s favorite butt plugs, a thick one that had little beads inside it that moved around when you turned on the remote.

Oh yeah, game, set and match.

Cas looked completely innocent when he opened up his door to Dean standing there with the box.

"Think we got ourselves a mix up again."

"My apologies. I realized just this morning that I had your appliance in my kitchen. Just a minute."

Cas held up a hand like Dean was supposed to wait there and he disappeared into the apartment. Dean didn’t step foot into the guys apartment, of course not, but he leaned in as far as he could and took in the sparse clean living arrangements, all calm blues and crisp whites. Castiel appeared back at the door, his immersion blender in hand still in it’s packaging, and proffered it for trade.

Dean shoved the box in Cas’ hand, took his appliance, and scooted ass down the hall before Cas could open the box.

He may have cackled just a little when he closed his apartment door behind him.

-

It wasn’t really Dean’s fault that he spent most of the rest of his day in the kitchen. The kitchen, which shared a wall with Cas, whom he had just given his butt plug. And if he wasn’t too interested in using overly loud appliances, well sometimes a man could appreciate a little peace and quiet. The kitchen floor was totally a comfortable place to spend the evening going over work reports.

A few hours after his encounter with Cas, Dean heard a muffled curse through the kitchen wall. Scooting closer, he pressed up against it. Through thin sheetrock he heard a few deep moans drawing out and the scrape of something on a floor. That was definitely Cas’ voice.

Dean was hard. Just a few grunts and the mental images of Cas using his toy to masturbate now, whereas Dean was on his counter fucking himself on Cas’ dildo just yesterday, and his dick was very interested in the proceedings of the room over. He didn’t last long, listening to breathy little gasps, and as soon as he heard a stuttering ‘D-d-d-dean’ he came so hard he fell over.

-

Monday night.

Dean was so distracted during work thinking about the weekend that he made way too many errors. It didn’t help that he was jittery from all the coffee he was drinking. Dean wondered where Cas worked. If he’d gone to college. If he had family in the city. If he liked having his nipples played with.

Yeah, he was really distracted.

When he got home to his quiet apartment, Cas’ sparkly pink dildo still wobbling on the nightstand next to his bed, Dean considered just spending the night masturbating. But he’d hardly been in the door when he heard a knock. Still dressed from work in nice slacks and a button down, he eased the knot on his tie and unbuttoned his shirt by a few before answering the door.

Castiel had his butt plug in his hand, and it wasn’t even in a box.

"Huh, wonder how that ended up with you."

“Yes, it’s a complete mystery.”

"Totally."

Cas squinted at him.

Dean swallowed hard and stared back.

He felt petrified, he couldn’t break the weird staring thing they had going on.

Cas did, eventually.

"I would very much like to drag you back to my apartment and fuck you senseless now."

“Do you like having your nipples played with?”

“Yes.”

“Ok, good talk, let’s go.”

-

Dean found himself dragged by his tie down the hallway, hunched over and following after Castiel, the shorter man was surprisingly strong. Dean just knew he was hiding all kind of good surprises under his creeper coat and stuffy button down formal wear. He was just too fucking pretty to go to waste. Well, pretty in a gruff, strong jawed, tousled, and numb to the world but has eyes that can stare into your soul kind of way. Castiel was a lot of things. He was complicated. But this situation right here, getting dragged through the man’s apartment and firmly deposited onto his bed, that did not have to be complicated. In fact it could be gloriously simply.

Dick meet ass, a little bump and grind, thanks for the good time buddy.

It wasn’t going to be simple.

Dean knew from the months he spent spinning fantasies about his mysterious neighbor, to the nausea in his stomach the first time they spoke more than a grunted ‘hello’ over a sparkly dildo, to the way he was as nervous as a fucking virgin right now watching Cas strip, that this was never going to be simple.

Castiel leaned over him to pull his loosened tie up around his head, hands speeding down his shirt pushing buttons open and he had really slender, talented fingers. Dean really really wanted to know just how nimble those fingers were. Trim nails, thick knuckles, tan skin, fuck he had nice hands. Dean may or may not have thought a lot about them from a distance, but it wasn’t like Cas showed much off, and now they were right in front of his face.

Dean lifted one of Cas’ hands to his face kissed the palm, sucking on the web between thumb and finger, biting on his wrist. Castiel’s other free hand pushed through his hair, dragging blunt nails against his scalp and massaging at the back of his neck.

“You’re going to be a good boy for me aren’t you Dean.”

Dean looked up at him and had to force himself to swallow to get his mouth working again.

“Yeah. I mean, yes, definitely.”

Cas smiled at him and it may have been the first time Dean saw a genuine wide split grin on the man’s face, crinkling in the corner of his eyes. Cas dragged his shirt off and pushed him forcibly down against the bed, making quick work of his belt and pulling his pants and boxers down at the same tie, taking shoes and socks with in a quick, efficient strip.

“Up on the bed.”

Dean scooted like he was a master fucking scooter, pushing himself up, hard cock bouncing against his belly, watching Cas strip now. It was as swift and practiced as when Cas was taking his clothes off, but it was still sexy as fuck, hands flying and body twisting just so. And sweet fucking mother of all the gods was Cas hiding a nice body under there. Dean did not know what this guy did, for a job or a workout or anything, but it obviously worked for him. Shit, the only thing Dean really did know about him was where he lived, what kind of sex toys he liked, and his name.

Well, it was more than Dean knew about some of the people he fucked.

Castiel crawled onto the bed, pushing his legs apart, cock hanging under his belly and muscles rippling with the way he slid his body up. Kissing his way up Dean’s stomach and chest, Cas nosed against his neck and mumbled in his ear, “I want to see for myself just how much you can get in that tight little ass.”

“Fuck yeah Cas, c’mon, I’ll be good for it.”

Dean was aching hard already and really wanted to see those d.s.l.’s wrapped around his cock but he would not mind just rolling over and taking Cas’ dick. It was an impressive dick, but not as big as the sparkly dildo, and Dean could probably take it in a single go with no foreplay. Sometimes he liked a little pain. All right, so, maybe his drunken internet shopping spree forays had helped him get in touch with his needy cockslut side, but it was the twenty first goddam century and he could be a needy cockslut if he wanted to be a needy cockslut.

God, he needed to stop saying that phrase in his head.

Castiel was rifling through a bedside drawer, and Dean leaned over onto an elbow to see what secrets Cas’ drawer held. It was a mess of silicone and wires and remote controls. There were anal beads, butt plugs, dildos, vibrators, lube, massage oil, nipple clamps, a pair of handcuffs. Dean definitely needed to get more acquainted with Cas’ toy drawer. While Cas pulled out a bottle of strawberry flavored lube, Dean grabbed the nipple clamps.

Cas was slicking his fingers and nudging between Dean’s legs, rubbing down his perineum and circling his hole, just kneeling between Dean’s thighs and licking his lips. While he was distracted with that, Dean leaned up and affixed a nipple clamp to one of Cas’ pert little dusky brown nipples. They were the free form kinds that weren’t connected, nice spring ones that you could operate single handed. The good stuff.

Cas huffed a little, twitching, pushing two fingers inside Dean in retaliation but Dean just rolled the other nipple between his fingers and clamped the other one on. They were little sliver things weighted on the bottom, hanging down on Cas tone chest. Ah fuck, Dean just noticed that Cas did not have any tan lines, at all. He really wanted to know where the man sun bathed now.

Whimpering and pushing his hips down, rocking onto Cas’ hand, Dean toyed with his own nipples while Cas watched.

“It’s not enough for you is it?”

“Uh-huh, you could just fuck me, right now, like this.”

“I have other plans for you.”

Cas slapped the inside of his thigh, earning a yelp, and then Dean was being hauled upright while Cas leaned back and pushed on one side of his hips. Getting with the memo Dean flipped a leg over Cas, kneeling above his waist facing away from him and backing up so his legs were on the outside of Cas arms and his ass was above Cas face. Bending forward and resting on his elbows, Cas’ dick was now also conveniently in front of his face.

And on the seventh day, god created Cas’ dick.

Dean was about to worship it properly, as it so deserved, but he may have gotten a little distracted when a tongue found it’s way into his ass. Shivering and unable to suppress a twitch in his hips, Cas was kneading at his buttcheeks and pulling them apart, fingers toying around the rim of his hole and tongue lapping at him, circling around and darting in, a sweet combination of variable moves.

Dean needed to get his fucking head in the game and stop being distracted. Grasping Cas’ dick at the base he swirled his tongue around the head and kitten licked at the frenulum making sure to drool enough to drip down the whole length, making it wet and breathing hot on it, before finally closing his lips around the head and sinking down most of the way on one go.

Dean was pretty sure Cas almost drew blood how deep he dug his nails into Dean’s butt at that. Least it almost felt like it. Maybe he’d get a few good bruises tomorrow to remember Cas by, that’d be nice. He should probably give a few to Cas, just to be polite. Sucking down his dick a few time and getting all the way to the base, Dean pulled up and stroked it while he bit bruises into the vee of Cas’ hip and the inside of his thigh. Cas retaliated with sucking a few hard marks into his buttcheeks.

“I knew you’d be good at that Dean.”

“Oh yeah, what gave it away?”

“I just figured, with the way that you kept looking at my crotch.”

“Damn. I am really not as subtle as I think am I?”

“You’re as clear as glass to me.”

“Huh, that must be nice, cause you’re as… not clear as a – wall – to me….”

Man, he was not good at this talking and being witty thing. He should just put his mouth back to good use on sucking cock. But he flushed a little at how Cas laughed, feeling his chest jump, watching his cock bounce and his balls pull up with it. Dean pet along the seam of his balls and rolled them in his palm while he went back to the only kind of worship he could get behind. Or in front of. Or on top of.

Jolting with a slap to his ass, Cas was pushing him forward. Dean crawled up a little, staying on his hands and knees and looking behind him to see Cas kneeling up and leaning over to the nightstand again. Dean wanted to know what dirty things Cas had in store for him. But all he could focus on was the sinuous stretch of the man’s body, built but lean, perfect fucking round ass with those little dimples on the side and dark hair looking soft down his legs.

Then Dean saw what Cas was pulling out and it was definitely a little too long for him to be fitting all of it Dean’s ass. It was the right width though, and Dean noticed that both ends of the dildo were shaped like a cock head. Aw fuck the dude had a double ended dildo. Cas was just smiling his creepy enthusiastic smile at Dean. The nipple clamps were still hanging on valiantly.

“Fuck yeah man.”

Pushing up on one arm and twisting more so he could watch, Dean looked over his shoulder to see Cas settle ass to ass with him, nestled between Dean’s legs, slicking his toy up with the strawberry lube that by now Dean could smell in the air, sweet and almost cloying but the sheets smelled like cologne and Cas so it was a pretty good mix.

Dude was goddam flexible. Bent forward onto one of his hands and twisting around to push the dildo into himself first – Dean noted that as far as he was aware nothing had been in Cas’ ass since they started this shebang cause he thought Cas would be sticking his dick in Dean’s. Well, that made two needy cock sluts.

Castiel flexed around and pushed the dildo into his body, tilting back and feeling for Dean he got his fingers lined up first before sliding the dildo through the circle of his hand and into Dean. It was interesting to watch, Cas had probably done this before, and Dean kind of wanted to watch from the sidelines too. Maybe they could set up a video.

It wasn’t as thick as the serious sparkly dildo, but it was a good width that stretched him wide and made his stomach clench, heat blossoming in his body and Dean let his head drop forward onto the mattress, pushing his hips back into it. Impaling himself on the dildo and driving it into Cas at the same time, he snapped his hips back until he felt Cas’ butt on his.

Grinding back, met with Cas’ own needy little gyrations, he was plenty content to rub their bodies together and let the dildo stretch deep into him, but Cas pulled away and started making rhythmic quick push-pulls that worked the toy out and in, sometimes deeper and sometimes more shallow depending on who’s body sucked it in greedier.

Dean got into the pace he set, moaning and gripping his fingers into soft sheets. He could hear Cas behind him, mumbling a rough litany of ‘good boy’s’ and ‘d-d-d-dean’s’ and ‘fuckfuckfuck’s’.

Apparently he was so quiet all the fucking time because he used it all being so mouthy in bed. And judging from his well stocked toy drawer, he did this a lot. Dean could understand that, hell he could encourage it, especially if it involved him.

Leaning onto a shoulder and pressing his face into the mattress, Dean reached down to jack his cock while he fucked back onto the toy, muscles starting to ache and quiver, body tensing and thrumming with the build up. Then he heard Cas coming, slamming back roughly against him and driving the toy deep, Dean fisted his cock with dedication and came toe curlingly, broken screamedly, mind numblingly hard.

Goddam.

Flopping onto the bed and slurring something he had no idea what he was even trying to say, wiping his wet hand on the sheets, dildo sliding out of his well lubed and fucked out and very happy ass, Dean curled over onto his side. Cas was half heartedly pulling himself up towards Dean, and he made it about halfway before face planting on Dean’s sweaty belly and giving him a pat on his side. Dean was nice enough to pull the nipple clamps off, though not coordinated enough to do so gently. Cas moaned and jerked his hips against Dean’s legs. That would be something to be given further thought to later, when he was capable of thinking again.

After a few minutes, Cas shifted and grunted, finally making it the rest of the way up the bed.

“You still have my pink dildo.”

“You’ll just have to come over and get it.”

“I can do that.”


End file.
